I hate it when...

These are the incidents which have actually left my blood boiling and head close to exploding.

• I am thrown off the argument without giving proper justification
• People ask me stupid dumb questions again and again when they can answer it themselves with little common sense and logic
• People justify living with bad design with "thats how we have it"
  
• I don't get a reply to mail which stalls the progress of my to do items
  
• I have to play dirty politics in order to be a part of the system
• The computer responds slowly than my brain does
  

P.S. I know this is a narcissist post. But who cares!

P.P.S. This was a repercussion of a bad day at work. As I was writing this, I was having a nice conversation with couple of good friends and that has eased me off. I don't have any more things to complain about.

Motivation

Where does it come from, this quest? This need to solve life's mysteries with the simplest of questions can never be answered. Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all - not delving, not yearning. That's not human nature, not the human heart. That is not why we are here.

When we embrace what lies within, our potential knows no limit. The future is filled with promise. The present, rife with expectation. But when we deny our instinct, and struggle against our deepest urges... Uncertainty begins. Where does this path lead? When will the changes end? Is this transformation a gift... or a curse? And for those that fear what lies ahead... The most important question of all... Can we ever change what we really are?

- Mohinder Suresh

New Horizons

Was it a spank on my head, a wake up call?? Whatever it was, its making me think. What do I want to do in life. Where do I want to be 5 years from now? 5 years back, I wanted to "settle down". But now it doesn't feel like a thing of utmost importance. I want to do something, be someone, someone big. Coding is certainly something I won't want to do for the rest of my life.

A certain someone who has made it big has told me that I have it in me. A certain someone who knows me very well has always told me that I have always had it in me. And as a matter of fact, I know that if I want to do something, I will work hard enough to get it,and that something can be anything. Not many people have this ability. So is it worth wasting it just because I am too lazy to explore..

As far as work goes, its interesting, but its getting frustrating. I want my views to be considered and appreciated. If thats not going to be happen, it should be well justified. "Thats how Big Boss XYZ wants it" is not a reason enough. This sort of tyranny is something that I certainly cannot tolerate. Slowly but surely I am getting the feeling of not being able to work under someone. And with this keeda in my head, every small thing obstruction in my work seems magnified. The worst part is that it is seen in the way I am behaving, the way I am handling things. I can sense people feeling uncomfortable in approaching me. And that sure is not a good sign.

Where do I go from here... MBA obviously seems to be a lucrative option. I certainly wont be going for CAT. That leaves me with GMAT and thus MBA abroad or in ISB. Giving it a shot this year is out of question. I need my time. Don't want to do things in haste. How am I going to manage finances. I don't know. How am I going to convince my parents, I don't know. What is going to happen to my so called "well planned" life, I don't know. This decision can very well change how my life is going to shape up. I think it deserves more thinking.

P.S. Watch out this space for more frequent updates...