Failure

Am I so incapable of putting my views forth? Am I really that forceful? Not understanding? Even the genuine concern is twisted and turned and taken as an ego issue. I can't even try to understand one person I claim that I love the most. That feeling of being a horrible person has come to haunt me again.

Sometimes I really feel I shouldn't have taken it this way. He is right. I am totally incapable of taking things slowly. Why was I so aggressive in the past? May be that has ruined everything. Have rendered so many sad moments for me, for both of us. All my fault.

Why did I screw up everything? Is there any way to fix it? My mind is so numb I can't think of anything. Its that feeling of being incapable, regretting everything that has been done in the past. I feel so helpless, feel that I am responsible for it, the whole of it. This thing is just killing me. The worst part, I can't even let myself go. Somebody please hurt me, so that I can cry openly. Its like somebody is strangling me and I am grasping for breath. Just do it, take it away, finish it. I don't want to take it anymore. I can't.