The long walk

I had a good long walk today... Well, not actually too long, was just from office to home, little more than 2 kms. But I was too preoccupied with so many thoughts that I didn't realize I was halfway down on my way and I wouldn't find a rickshaw guy who will be willing to take me home. Walking with heels on for such a long distance... someone is really going to be unhappy.

Anyways, was just thinking.... How for someone, some other people or other things can be more important than themselves. For a self centered person like me, its really difficult to understand. How can you rate your priorities depending on someone else's pleasure, be happy when you help someone... Its just beats me. And you know what is worst, somewhere inside you, you kind of know that you have such a someone else, but for that person, someone else is not you.

I guess this is karma. I have my parents, for whom I am the center of their life. Their life revolves around me and mine around them. I am wasting a lot of time and energy in trying to sever this bond at least a little so that I can get that freedom that I am looking for. But I am not sure if it is really worth the effort. Because at the end of the day, I know that nobody is going to give me my share of attention apart from them. Its a fact that is a little hard to digest, but its a fact.

Feeling a little tired, a little broken down. I guess I shouldn't have been so lost, at least while walking. My legs are telling me that. The knees are broken, heels are gone and calves are asking too be cut off.