Solitude

Days after days, months after months have passed by, and I am still here, waiting.... Doing absolutely everything in my abilities to get things alright. But certain things are beyond me. I am just not able to cheer myself up. Whenever I get indulged in any other things work, books, its all fine. Because I don't have place in my head to think about anything else. But, when I am sitting alone staring at the laptop or thinking about myself, its just so awful. I feel terrible, miserable. All I see is darkness. I am tired of running around looking out for hope.

I feel so lonely... wish if there could be someone to share my emptiness with. I have started to lose faith now. Have done more than my share of waiting, much more than what I was promised. When you have had someone to look at, someone to depend on and then you see that person going away and not coming back, there is a natural question you ask. Why...

The situation has just gone beyond what one can help. I have always had things going my way all my life. This is the first time I am really craving for something badly and don't have any control on it. Just want things to get alright, as they were before. Can' t take this any more. I really try hard not to cry, but sometimes, just can't help it. I sleep and wake up with damp eyes, yes... the old days are back indeed. I wish I was given little more time, little more attention, little more importance.

Something inside me is waiting for getting exploded. I don't know how much I can take of this. I need a miracle, a stoke of luck, some charm which will make everything as good as new. I wish I could turn the time, or at least make it go faster. But how much faster I want it to go, even I don't know. I am just afraid of running out of time.